Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:3-5
Abortion functions as the indispensable fulcrum[1] of women-focused studies, feminist politics, economics, therapies and medicine, balancing every tangential matter on its point. Little has been written examining the effects of abortion on the men involved, as well as its wider effects on men generally. Men and their viewpoints and needs have been silenced, marked as unworthy to speak to the issue, because they “don’t have a uterus,” and therefore are not entitled to a voice. In a world of noisy clamor for equal rights for all, both the preborn and their fathers are voiceless and without rights.
Much is made of a father’s responsibility for the children he creates, from financial support to adulthood to inheritance rights at the end of life. But what of the man who wants to take responsibility for his children, but is denied that right by an abortion-minded girlfriend or spouse? What of his response to her rejection of his legacy and his resulting anger? And what of the unprepared father who wants to be rid of the children he creates – the man who pressures his pregnant partner to abort, only to experience guilt afterward?
What happens to human beings unable to express their sadness, who must bear their grief alone, perhaps experiencing verbal abuse and character assassination from their partner? What happens to human beings who come to understand the gravity and reality of influencing – and abetting – the execution of another human being who is also their own child? What happens when grief and anger go unexpressed? How do they cope?
And what of the effect on the wider number of men and boys who are learning by observing, reading and listening to the world’s devaluation of their roles as protector, rescuer, husband and father? How does it change the way they view themselves, women, children and relationships?
Self-medication: In a world that is suffering identity crises from the national to the personal level, avoidance is key. Alcohol and drug abuse obscure and dull the pain of rejection and distract from the memory of the traumatic event. Excessive gambling and use of sexual pornography (including child pornography) are often used as coping mechanisms.
The exponential increase in the use of pornography: Interaction with a fantasy virtual sexual partner eliminates the risks of relationship with a real female.
Objectification of women and children: One response to the world’s diminishment of the value of motherhood and the commodification of children as objects (clumps of cells) existing – or not - to satisfy the random needs of adults, is to agree with that devaluation and objectification, simultaneously erasing personal responsibility for involvement with “something that doesn’t matter.”
Domestic violence and child abuse: When women are seen either as enemies or victims, and children are a triggering reminder of either rejection or personal failure, men’s anger is sometimes directed towards women and children.
Sex trafficking of women and children: Objectification and commodification of the weak make sex trafficking not only possible, but ubiquitous and fueled by disdain and anger. Abortion is also a mainstay of the sex trafficking industry.
Gender dysphoria: With as many reasons for gender dysphoria as there are those who experience it, depression, self-harm and a desire to erase both one’s own sex and the reduction of the female identity to a collection of sex organs commonly play a role.
What is God’s intent for the role of men in the creation and nurture of children and care for women? The answer to this question far exceeds the limits of this article, but the clearest example is the way Scripture depicts the actions of God towards God’s people, and the example of Jesus.
For men to express the Image of God (Imago Dei) in relationship to women is to view her as a co-equal helper (Gen. 2:18), bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh (Gen. 2:23-24), his own body (Eph. 5:33). Men are to love their wives and nurture and enable their gifts and strengths. They are to protect their wives with their very lives (Eph. 5:25-29). Throughout Scripture the language of how God interacts with God’s people is the language of romantic pursuit, sexual longing and marital fulfillment with the birth and nurture of children as the goal. God’s people are called God’s children; God is their father, provider, protector and rescuer. God’s children are God’s legacy.
God’s pain when His people reject Him is equally evident – He is grieved by their faithlessness and their pursuit of other, lesser gods. He goes to extreme lengths to seek them out, woo them back and rescue them if necessary. He works tirelessly on their behalf.
Such is the picture of God’s desire, God’s pain and God’s tireless faithfulness as Father, Bridegroom and Husband. How easy it is to see that the perversion of the right sexual relationship between men and women is “one-stop shopping” for the Enemy. How vulnerable are the children so carelessly created. This single counterfeit is really all that is necessary to upend healthy human relationships to the destruction of individuals, families and cultural chaos.
The Christian’s assurance is that God remains in control and Christ indeed holds all things together (Col. 1:17). Nevertheless, as we await the perfection of human and divine relationships, Believers can uphold the role of men as husbands and fathers, restore their voices to the public square, and highlight God’s intent for life in right relation with others.
“Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and your grandsons.”
Deuteronomy 4:9
[1] Interestingly, fulcrum means “bedpost” in Latin.