An anonymous testimony about post-abortion recovery
A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping, weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more. (Jeremiah 31:15)
After my abortion, I was unprepared for the sense of hollowness I experienced. Dread washed over me so strongly that I knew I had not just eliminated a collection of cells with potential of life, rather, I had denied a life that must have had at its origin Intelligent Design.
Self-loathing and hopelessness, followed by resentful anger towards my husband darkened my heart, seemingly offering no option other than lifelong bitterness or Hell on Earth. Had it not been for God who rescued me through an orchestrated “coincidence,” I would have continued on a self-destructive path with the fallout, not only myself, but that of my husband and children.
A colleague “happened to know” a Christian woman whose ministry was to share the gospel message of forgiveness, mercy, and grace, to post- abortive women. This counselor agreed to meet weekly and, in our first conversation, she offered me hope by explaining that all of us are sinners and God didn’t “grade” my sin as worse than everyone else’s.
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift , through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus , whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. (Romans 3:23)
Over the course of a few months, we met one-on-one in her home to read and discuss a Bible-based study. We focused on the character of God, His promises, and Christ’s intercession and forgiveness of sin. As this counselor compassionately and humbly shared God’s Word, I started to trust in God, Jesus Christ as my Savior, and the Holy Spirit, and recognized that developing a relationship with my Creator would give purpose to my life.
Thou shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and the greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself. (Matthew 22:37-40)
My counselor’s faithful discipleship inspired me as she explained that she woke up every day asking God “What do you have in store for today and how can I serve you?” I found myself thinking “I want more of that faith and purpose.”
“For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
As we studied together, I became hungry for the Word and began reaching out to my local church, listening to Christian radio, seeking Christian concerts, praying and having conversations with God as I navigated my day. Meanwhile, my husband was watching me and perusing the bible study materials I brought home. Increasingly, we became involved in youth and adult education in our church. My counselor shepherded these next steps, and guided me to women’s bible studies, and to participate in her ministry with post-abortive women.
During this time of praying and reading scripture, not only was my heart transformed, but that of my husband, and together we shared the Gospel with our daughters.
The mission field created by abortion is huge. There have been more than 60 million abortions since the Supreme Court ruling of Roe vs Wade. A study published by the British Journal of Psychiatry found that women who have had an abortion are 81 percent more likely to suffer from mental health issues and have a 61 percent increased risk of alcohol misuse and a 313 percent increased use of drug abuse. (Healing the Guilt and Pain of Abortion, Pat Laytin, Lifeway, October 30 2018)
Christ came for us as sinners and offered us freedom and redemption. Post-abortive Christian ministry is a powerful way to bring the Gospel to new believers.