Kathleen's story of rape, parenting, & forgiveness PDF Print E-mail

Kathleen was a normal young Midwest girl until one night she and a friend skipped a church meeting and went to a coffee house. She accepted a movie invitation from a man she didn’t know who brutally raped her. Soon after Kathleen realized she was vacation_180_fmtpregnant. She hid the pregnancy from her family for six and a half months. She became reclusive and tried to induce an abortion by swallowing bottles of aspirin, ant poison, and taking risks by jumping—until the baby began to kick.

She tells how her heart toward her unborn child, a son, was changed as the baby grew within her. Years later this very child became God’s instrument of grace and healing:

“However once the baby continued to kick and move, I began to have different feelings toward the child. I began to realize that this little life inside me was struggling too. Somehow, my heart changed…I no longer wanted to abort this child.”

“I am not sorry, nor ever will be, that I kept and raised my son. The life I tried to snuff out was the very tool that was used to bring me to a place where I could forgive those involved in what happened to me. God truly did work it out…."

"It was Patrick, my son, conceived in rape—whose life I had tried to snuff out—who taught me how to forgive. He was willing to forgive not only his biological father, but also me (for physically and verbally abusing him as a child.) He kept telling me, “Mom, you need to forgive.” Finally I listened to his most sound advice. It was then that I was able to go on with life and to forgive as I had been forgiven."

"Patrick was God’s tool to help me find peace.”

Kathleen Dezeeuw’s story is excerpted from Victims and Victors: speaking Out about Their Pregnancies, Abortions, and Children Resulting from Sexual Assault, Edited by David C. Reardon, Julie Makimaa, and Amy Sobie, 2000. (Available from Acorn Books, PO Box 7348 Springfield, IL 62791 or Call 1-888-412-2676).



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