Love--All That and More, a resource for schools and churches to encourage healthy relationships among adolescents, assumes that unmarried teenagers are in sexual relationships and doesn't want those relationships to become abusive. By abusive it means physically or emotionally hurtful--disrespectful, untruthful, or non-consensual. This is not a program that shies away from moral judgments about discrimination or inequality or forced sex. We can't imagine a Presbyterian in disagreement with that. But the program's fatal flaw, especially as a resource for Presbyterian youth, is its complete acceptance of unmarried sexual intimacy, whether "gay" or "straight."

Love.... was developed by the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence in Seattle and includes facilitators' guides for Christian and Jewish groups. It was published in 2001 with financial support that included $100,000 from the Presbyterian Women's Birthday Offering. So, it would be reasonable to expect that its teachings are consistent with a reformed understanding of sexual expression--that which is clearly set forth in our Confessions--as it undertakes a discussion of what constitutes healthy and unhealthy relationships of sexual intimacy.

There are not many Christian denominations that regard marriage as irrelevant to sexual intimacy, or that regard homosexual relationships as morally neutral. This curriculum cites such approval only from the United Church of Christ (UCC). Certainly we Presbyterians, because of our Thirty Years War over sexual morality, are very clear about where our church stands on these matters. The Presbyterian Church (USA) has not wavered in its affirmation that the Bible and our Confessions teach that sexual intimacy belongs within the bonds of marriage and that Christian faith teaches "fidelity in marriage and chastity in singleness." For us, fidelity and chastity are not prudish standards from a former age that we have outgrown. They are convictions that we have repeatedly reaffirmed as a body.

The 1998 General Assembly was the most recent assembly to speak directly to sexual intimacy among our youth. That Assembly called our Presbyterian families and congregations "to communicate to our children and youth a clear message of sexual purity in relation to Christian discipleship...." Love.... sends the opposite message to the youth of our churches by teaching that marriage is irrelevant to healthy sexual relationships, and homosexual relationships are normal and acceptable. Readers must wonder why Presbyterian Women would promote and support financially a resource so counter to our denomination's positions.

The curriculum lacks the resources of Christian faith to see beyond the "now" of the modern youth culture. It was not written to consider the transcendent truths of Christianity. The facilitator's guide for Christian groups merely engages in proof-texting to support the premises of the program. There is no exploration of God's intent for sexual expression or the sexual implications in Scripture of our bodies as temples of God's Holy Spirit. There is no exploration of the Christian intent for the building of families and communities through lifelong, faithful marriages. There is no exploration of the analogy presented by the Apostle Paul that compares the relationship between husband and wife and Christ and his bride, the Church.

Instead, the program encourages skepticism about Christian teachings. The Christian Facilitator's Guide begins by teaching that the Bible has been used historically to condone abuse. Some young women believe, it says, that the Bible's teaching on submission means that they should accept abuse. Very subtly, then, Christian teaching on marriage and sexual relationships is set up as a straw man to be knocked down without any serious investigation of its truth. That clears the way for an alternative understanding of sexuality. Several of the liturgies that begin the sessions for Christian youth include celebration of different sexual orientations, which in the videos are expressed in sexual practices.

Based on the written material and the messages conveyed in the videos, the guiding principles of this resource for youth are:

• decisions to become sexually intimate are based on maturity,
• mutual consent, trust, respect, and willingness to prevent sexually-transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy
• youth are the only reliable advisors of youth in these matters
• do what seems right for you as long as you don't hurt another person
• there are no serious consequences of unmarried sexual intimacy so long as you are respectful, honest, do not force your affections on another person, and take reasonable precautions
• continue a relationship only as long as you wish to
• marriage, like abstinence, is an option--not a goal--for relationships

There are three videos in the program. They primarily consist of comments from about a dozen adolescents. Each person on the videos speaks as an autonomous, isolated individual. The program is about relationships, but you see only a single member of any relationship. There are no adults in these scenarios; no families; no communities; no friends; not even the "partners." There is no one to agree or disagree; no one to approve or correct; no one to suggest another perspective.

One of the principles of the program is that it is each person's right to end any relationship when that person chooses. Consequently, the result is a promotion of relationships designed to develop into quasi-marriages, which are not really intended to last--these are teenagers after all. The program implies the possibility of a string of quasi-marriages and quasi-divorces without the complications of weddings and legal proceedings. There is no discussion of the consequences of unmarried sexual intimacy (which are of epidemic proportions in our society): pregnancy, single parenthood, abortion, and sexually-transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS.

It is the Presbyterian mothers and grandmothers of the young recipients of this resource who poured out their gifts in recognition of their own birthdays, thinking to support the mission of the Church. Probably few of the contributors knew that their offerings to a church women's group would be used to promote ideas and behaviors that they themselves do not believe and would not teach their children. The use of women's contributions to PW doesn't come with a moneyback guarantee. But Presbyterian women might want to be much more careful in the future in choosing projects to support.