I am serving on an administrative commission of my presbytery. We are dealing with one of our sister congregations that desires to leave the denomination. Our approach has been pastoral, expressing our reasons why they should not leave and listening to their reasons why they should.

Several meetings had already been held with the Session that were all cordial. However, the elders were confident that they wanted to exit the PC(USA). This past week the administrative commission met with the whole congregation. It took a while for things to warm up, but when they did, it was obvious that this congregation had been struggling with this matter for a long time.

The congregation had a long list of grievances with the denomination: homosexuality, representation, shortage of pastors for congregations like theirs, how long things take, how wide the denomination is on the theological spectrum, no hope for change, lack of discipline of unorthodox pastors, etc.

But the first grievance they listed was abortion. "How can a denomination condone the killing of unborn babies?" "Nothing is going to change in regard to the position of the PCUSA on abortion." "We don’t care about relief of conscience with the Board of Pensions. We don’t understand how any church money can go to pay for an abortion."

Even as I tried to answer their questions and objections, I found myself sharing their frustration, futility and fury. These church members were not as informed as they could have been. They were not as involved as they should have been. But they got it.

It is unconscionable that the church can choose to hold other values higher than the value of human life. It is taking too long. It is something I don’t understand either. I wonder, too, if things will ever change.

I am tired of saying goodbye to so many orthodox, faithful Presbyterians who list abortion as one of the top reasons they don’t want to be in the PCUSA any longer.

I think I’ll leave also.

It seems so logical. It feels so right.

But I am compelled otherwise. God will not let me go.

I listened to all the reasons why this congregation wants to leave. The reasons were felt deeply. They had been prayed over. They were long standing. They were uttered with passion, clarity and wisdom. But there was no Word from the Lord. There were no biblical references given. There was no scriptural basis. There was only the identifying of what was wrong without any initiative toward what was right. There was only the statement of orthodoxy without the stance of orthopraxy.

But I am compelled otherwise. God will not let me go.

I found myself praying the prayer of Daniel:

Things are bad and I am upset, and I want to flee; but I am compelled otherwise.

God will not let me go.